RESPECT THE REF
A note from the Chairman, Lee Murphy.
As the new season approaches, I'd urge every player, coach and parent involved not only at our club, but at any Grassroots football club, to be aware of how we interact with those people who have chosen to referee our matches, whether that’s a League-appointed referee, a coach or a parent that has stepped into help out.
Last season our club had three separate charges against teams at our club for abusing referees, one of which was still at school, and that is three too many.
This season the FA has vowed to crack down on teams and clubs with a poor record with the threats of fines and points deductions, and that includes posting comments on Social Media about a referee or their decisions.
But the reason for not abusing officials should be much simpler, without them we wont have matches, and why would we as a club want to make people, especially young people feel bad about themselves simply because we do not like a decision they made on a football pitch?
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Whether you’re a player, coach or parent / supporter referees need our support not abuse.
I have spoken with some referees at opposite ends of their refereeing journey to get their views...
The Experienced Referee
Dave Shimmin was referee of the year last season in the Hull & District Youth League and despite his boyish good looks, has been doing this a long time!
Like a lot of people, Dave got involved in refereeing because the team he used to run were forever having to do without any referee for matches. So in he stepped and has continued ever since.
Dave continues to ref as he enjoys it and it keeps him fit, but only last season he did think that maybe it was time to stop... “I reffed an under 18 game, and as I was walking back to the car, I was abused by a player because I had given him a red card. It was not something that had happened before and I thought... 'do I need this?', but here I am gearing up for a new season”.
Dave's view on whether things are getting worse was clear: “A few years ago the laws of the game changed and I don’t think everyone understood them, parents and spectators not knowing the laws of the game is one of the reasons for the increased number of incidents of abuse but also I think it now seems to be for some 'win-at-all-costs' and that sometimes cascades over into aggression on and off the pitch”.
What advice he would give to those who do not referee but do like to advise him on how to do it? “Perhaps they stop watching match of the day!" And to any new refs? “Ignore the spectators comments, but it’s the same as anything else, enjoy it and give 100%, but learn to talk to the players”.
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Dave does make a point of talking to the players during games, even so, some of the grief does make him question himself sometimes “I wish refs had more respect like they do in Rugby League, but I do understand the parents and players frustrations”.
When asked if he could start over again, would he do it again? “Ha - only if I was younger! Last year was my best ever and I got to ref a national final at Stoke City's ground. I’m 60 this year and as long as I can, I’ll be on that pitch in the middle with my whistle”.
How can clubs like South Cave help referees? “Involve the parents more and talk to them about refereeing”.
And that advice is one of the things that we need to learn as a club so that we are not creating an environment where people are being abused because of a decision they gave.
Imagine it in your workplace, if every time you made a decision a person or even a group of people start to abuse you! You wouldn’t tolerate it and here are people giving up their time to ensure our children can play football and we take our frustrations out on them. And the kids? The kids can learn by seeing and if they see us doing it then they will think that it's ok and acceptable behaviour. It is not.
The Newly-Qualified Referee
At the other end of the scale, I asked two newly qualified referees about their initial experiences of refereeing. Both referees are 14 years-old and interested in refereeing having qualified over the summer.
They didn’t want their photos taken, as they didn't want to be identified as they didn’t want any comeback at school. Right there you can see how hard that it must be for young people to want to start refereeing!
A whopping 80% of new and young refs give up in the first two years because of the way that people behave towards them at matches. Shouting abuse at school children because they awarded a free kick… one of those things you read back and go “really?”
They became interested in refereeing partly around earning some pocket money, although both play football and wanted to also give something back. Having been through the referee course they felt Ok with the laws but welcomed the safeguarding content and how to deal with problems, “it is interesting to see things from the other side” offered Jay.
I asked them both how they felt before they reffed their first match? Understandably they were nervous, Jay said “I remember in the first game I was that nervous I couldn’t even blow the whistle very loudly”, both agreed though they have learned to relax. “I still get nervous though” smiled Jay!” as if to remind me they still needed our support.
They both remember specific incidents at games and Alex was quick off the mark, “I was reffing an under 8 match at a tournament and a coach wasn’t happy with a decision I'd made. I saw him say 'ffs' and turn his back shaking his head."
Alex continued "Then there was a time after an u12 match, I think he was a coach that approached me on the pitch and spoke through gritted teeth at me disagreeing that I didn’t give a free kick and said the player was upset because of my 'disgraceful refereeing'. I saw the player fall over the ball. No contact was made”.
Jay could remember a couple of incidents clearly, “The ball had gone out for a throw in and one team wanted to make a substitution. I'd blown my whistle three times to stop play from restarting, and when the team that played on 'scored' despite play being stopped, I had a parent questioned me, he angrily shouted 'how was that disallowed?'.
"And another time a coach questioning a free kick after player headed the ball. He shouted 'Oi ref, Oi ref, you’ve got to be kidding, that was indirect'. Then the woman next to him joined in too. But another coach from a different team did come up to me at the end of the game and said well done for sticking to your guns. I thought I did the right thing, its only what I saw”.
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Alex mentioned that the comments were clearly hurtful but Jay went a bit further, stating “I couldn’t go back on the pitch after that as I was constantly crying. I’m only 14 and didn’t know what to do. I was confused. I did have support from other referees but the damage had been done. Its knocked my confidence when it took me a lot of persuading to get onto the pitch in the first place”.
This was adults putting young and new refs in this position. Both Alex and Jay said that as they had both played the game, they felt sorry for referees, and that was before they officiated their own matches. Alex added “I also feel sorry for players sometimes because they don’t know what to do especially the younger ones who look scared when parents and coaches scream at them or me”. Children scared to play football...
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Lastly I asked them if they were to ask something of players and coaches what would that be, “Please, please, please, stop shouting at the players and refs” said Jay, with Alex agreeing adding: “Please don’t shout at me or your players. I love football and want to keep playing but not so sure that I will carry on with refereeing.”
It's staggering really, people can see how young these refs are, yet, they still choose to shout abuse at them to the point they wont carry on doing it. Those same people will then probably be complaining about matches not taking place as there are no referees or that their game hasn't had a referee assigned as 'there's not enough refs'.
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Dave is a highly experienced ref who has seen it and done it and he loves refereeing, but even he has had moments where he is thinking 'do I really need this?'. “You know when people are abusing Referees, the very last thing they are doing is thinking about that persons feelings, or how safe they feel”. It seems spectators and coaches do not differentiate between age and experience of refs as Alex and Jay have both been abused in their first months of refereeing.
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There is a shortage of referees, but unfortunately it sounds like there is no shortage of people willing to abuse referees, and they are usually people who have never, and will never referee a game. So why even consider shouting at refs, making a 14 year old feel scared so that they wont carry on, all because of a decision your very likely never going to put yourself in the position of having to make, is it really that important to you?
The players only learn things like shouting at the refs from the adults. And we are talking about kids football. And largely (but not exclusively) we are talking about the adult spectators, not the players, being abusive.
I don’t think for one second that our club is unique in that refs have been given a hard time. And having been to most grounds and heard the same, I know that we are not.
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But it being normal at grounds isn’t justification and we can as individuals and a club make a difference by not making it worse. In fact we should be making every effort to make South Cave teams welcoming and supportive of referees, what a simple thing that would be, and how beneficial to us all?
It would be nice to think that referees want to ref South Cave games as they know they will be supported. So please take some time to support the referees, not abuse them. We need them and they should want to ref games because they enjoy it, not be fearful of it.
As a club, we have just contributed to the cost of 2 of our young players doing their referees course and we would be happy to subsidise more of our young players doing the course if they are interested and will commit to reffing some of our young sides!
Please reaffirm yourselves with the codes of conduct on our website, maybe take a second to think before you impart your wisdom on a referee at a game, think about the impact on them, not the impact on their decisions. Maybe even take some time to speak to a referee to find out how reffing makes them feel. We as a club can do a lot more to make their experiences much better.
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The local leagues support the purple shirt campaign aimed at identifying newly qualified refs in the hope they will be supported not abused at matches. You will see the poster up at our ground and across our social media in the next few weeks. If you see a ref in a purple shirt the very best thing you can do is thank them and tell them they are doing a good job. We need more referees and they are far more likely to carry on refereeing if we support them!
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You can find out more on our codes of conduct here and for further guidance from the FA on Respecting Referees here.
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Thank you
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Lee
Lee Murphy
Chair, South Cave Juniors